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In a living room just outside of Dallas, Texas, about 20 of us crowded on couches, chairs, and blankets, and wore pajamas, sweatpants, and no shoes. The group was mostly middle-aged, a near-even split of men and women, and predominantly white. We listened to an hour-long lecture about the importance of asking for what you want, setting clear boundaries, and keeping your clothes on. When I told friends about this, the most common responses fell into two : pathetic and weird.

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